Grandma's Attic

TREE TRADITIONS

It seems like everyone has important things

that they do in their families. Things done every

year, over and over, that you can just depend on.

that's what this story is about....a 'TRADITION'

We all got together to decorate the Christmas tree when the kids were little, after we'd all gone tromping through the snow to pick it out, and maybe even roasted marshmallows, if we weren't too wet and cold.

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It was tradition for Mark, our oldest son, to put the lights up. Dee had done it the first few years we were married, then passed the responsibility on down the line. Mark would string them all over the floor, plug them in to test, replace worn bulbs

(all the while trying to keep two or three younger kids from stepping on them) then finally he'd start to put them on the tree.

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It was MY responsibility every year to tell Mark that the only way to do it was to start at the top and work his way down. He inwardly wondered why, but he never questioned. He just did it.

Year after year this routine was followed, with all the kids joining in to put on the decorations. Some years after everyone was asleep, I'd go back and re-arrange a few balls, or put up more shiny tinsel to cover the 'youthfulness' of the decorating.

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Mark left for a mission in New Zealand, after his first year of college, and someone else took over his duty with the lights. We really missed him and the holidays just weren't the same.

He arrived back home in September and it was an exciting time when tree-time rolled around again, and Mark was once more getting the lights sorted out on the floor.

The first thing he did was plug in the end of the string at the outlet and proceed to weave the lights upward. I told him, "No, that's wrong, it won't work out if you start at the bottom"

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Wiser than in days past, he sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall. This time, he was ready to reason. "Tell me, Mom, just why did I always have to start at the top? 'cause lots of times, when I got all done, the bottom of the cord was clear away from the plug and we had to find an extension cord. Why was that the only way?"

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I sat silent, as I tried to find reasons for my rules. I had no answer at first, then he broke the silence. "You know, if I plug it in first, it just comes out even, no matter where I put the lights"

Finally digging deep in my past, I remembered.........

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When I was little we had a shiny metal star that went on top of the tree. That was the first thing my Dad put up, then he started with the lights. The end light on the string HAD to be on the top of the tree, to go through the center of the star. And (Mark was right) usually at the bottom, he had to add an extension cord to reach the plug, often stretching across the room.

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So, there it was. All those years my system had been based on a totally unrealistic event in my past. The interesting thing was that for 18 years, Mark had done it my way, even though he knew his way was better. Not because he was afraid of me, but probably because he respected my place as his parent. All these years, I'd been doing our tree the same way, and the wonder of it all was.......we didn't even have a star on top!

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I learned a lot that day. I learned that my kids knew more than I did in a lot of things. I learned that I was influenced greatly by my childhood, and needed to be careful not to assume that old ways are the best ways. Just because my Dad did things a certain way, didn't mean that other ways were not equally good. And I learned a deep respect for my son, who did it my way for years, even though he knew a better way.

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I have since learned that knowledge has no age boundaries. It has no beginning and no ending, and I now watch and listen to my youngest grand-child, to see what he can teach me. and I'm never disappointed.

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