Yesterday being the 2nd Sunday, I was giving the lesson in Relief Society. It was a strange day.. In the first place, I have put on some weight. Week-days are fine, sweats or capris, nothing tight, and I feel good. But Sundays are a different story. I have about two things that fit, and yesterday both of them made me feel fat. So I felt uncomfortable. Plus Dee didn't feel good, so he didn't go, and that always throws me off, we need to be together.
The lesson was pretty basic, on the organization of the Priesthood. And I'd been up early to get it put together on paper, after reading a lot. When I'm teaching R/S I don't spend much time on the Sunday School lesson, so right off I felt unprepared. So by the time R/S started, I could tell I wasn't comfortable.
The opening prayer lady said, "Bless the teacher to have a clear mind" and I thought~~~Oh, please, I need that! Then it was my turn. Not that I did a bad job, but it wasn't good. I couldn't feel the spirit, twice I lost my place, and just shut down, but we managed. Also not much participation. As I sat down, I said to myself, 'That's the worst lesson I've ever given'
Much to my surprise, 5 or 6 sisters said the lesson was great. A couple said, "I have times when I blank out, too, it comes with age" . Now I thought~~~~~they must have heard things differently than I did. But it made me feel better.
As I got to the car, I decided to not be so hard on myself. I gave the best lesson in R/S that day, better than anyone else. And along the way, at home during the week, I had studied a lot of other things. When I get into the scriptures, one thing just leads to another, there is no end to study time. That feels good.
On the way home, I had a flash of inspiration. I should have read Oliver Cowdery's description of when he and Joseph received the Priesthood, found at the end of Joseph's history! I love that.